Relaitionships

I have dated eight people, messed around with all of them but had sex with none of them.

Boyfriend Name Age Everything we did

1. Boy in the motherland 4 yrs old Fingered each other, play sex (Not Serious)
2. Ney York Guy 12yrs old Kissed, helled hands (Not Serious)
3. Hill 14 yrs old Kissed (Not Serious)
4. Thomas 15 yrs old Kissed (Not Serious)
5. George 27yrs old Kissed, hanky panky (Sorta serious. He cheated on his girlfriend with me and he had 6 kids)
6. E**m 24yrs old Kissed, Hanky panky (playful, fun relaitionship, not serious)
7. Sol**** 19 yrs old Kissed, LOTZ & LOTZ OF hanky panky (THE LOVE OF MY LIFE...MY FIRST LOVE)
8. H***ert 34yrs old Kissed, hanky panky (Serious but I didn't love him. He is a successful chemical

engineer, very loving but i just didn't want to be with him and not truly love

him. He also had two kids from his ex wife which I didn't really care about and of

course the age differncewas a factor in me creaking up with him.)

The only guy I am going to talk more about is Sol**** becasue he was the first man I have ever loved with all my heart and soul.

Sol****'s Good Traits

1. He was 19 yrs old. He will be 20 yrs old in December.
2. He is from Senegal.
3. He is a tall, sexy chocholate man
4. Low hair cut, he has waves
5. Respectful
6. Sweet
7. Patient
8. He put up with my crap
9. He got me a diamond necklace for my birthday. We had only been going out for 2 months.
10. Loving to his mother, father, and siblings
11. Hard working

His not so good traits

1. Stuborn
2. Hard headed
3. Not serious about school:{
4. Too focused on working not school
5. He's Muslim. He wasn't too happy with my convertion to christianity
6. He's not too focused
7. Not determined
8. He's illegal:{
9. Not detailed

WHAT I LOVED ABOUT HIM DISPITE ALL ELSE WAS:

>>>>He understood me, He always answered his phone when I called(ALWAYS). He knew all sides of me and loved it<<<<

What broke us up?

He's illegal and he is also not focused on school. All he wanted to do was play soccer and I was not ready to go any further with him if he didn't change his attitude toward school and he didn't so I decided we should break up.

And the Sukey thing is I miss him ALOT. I love this guy so much. I mean I don't think I can ever find someone who will accept all my faults and still love me. Besides God He was the only guy who truly cared about me but he just wasn't focused on planning his future. He just wanted to have fun now and then work hard later on, which is not cool with me. I want to plan my life now, work hard now and retire early. I want to have a good life which he also did but he didn't see a need to be so focused at 19 years old. I was too focused for him and he loved it and hated it. He felt i was nagging him.

Right now I'm thinking about what to invest in now and later on in the future, how much can I safe up this year, what can I cut back on to safe more money, what careers will be in demand in 10 years, what companies give the best employee benefits/employee growth and development, how can I pay $0 for school, what grades do i need in biology and statistics to get a 4.0 GPA, what can I do to make dang sure I attend an Ivy League school free of charge? these are the things running through my mind. This is how i want him to think. I want to date a successful man. A determined man. If he was good at soccer I would have stayed with him and pushed him to go to school part time at least but he wasn't good at soccer.

He never went to practice, he was getting out of shape, he wasn't saving any money at all, and he was illegal. I just got confused as to if he really cared or if he wanted his papers. I'm still confused but I didn'twant to take the risk.

I was so depressed from our break up that I just stopped taking care of myself. and by that I mean I don't dress up like i used to. i only wear sweatpants and t-shirts. I don't do my hair or wear makeup anymore.I just wake up and go. I was putting all my focus into school and sadly eating a lot whenever i was ultra depressed. I just went of the wagon. And to put the icing on the cake I got tipsy with some friends at a school leadership conference and called him and told him I love him. And (tear drops, tear drops, tear drops) he told me he had to get of the phone cause his girlfriend was next to him. According to my friends I cried like a baby and cried myself to sleep.

The next day after I had sobered up I called him and told him i was drunk that's why i called i said that cause i was tipsy he said he didn't take what i said seriously and he just hung up.

I was heart broken and so just to satisfy my curiosity, i went on his online profile to see if he has anything of me on there and he did.He had all the comments I had ever written him on his page untouched. That helped me a lot. At least I knew he didn't totally hate me. If he did that would be the first thing he would have delete. Or it could just mean he really doesn't care.

I should also add that a few weeks after we broke up he text me and told me " I will always love you. no matter what. you are the first girl I ever really cared about and loved. and he send me a picture of myself with I love you on there".

That tore me to pieces but i could really say much because at the time i was dating Her***t "the skin head"...hehehe A day after i broke up with Sol**** I was dating Her****. It's Scandalous but i was lonely and didn't know how to be single. I was used to jumping from onw relationship to another but i decided to learn to face my problems. and broke up with her***t. I am now learning day by day how to love myself and be happy single.

I now know it is possible to be single and be happy!!!